Oct 05 2008
Balconi’s Rainbow: the nonmusical :)
Have no anxiety at all, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, make your requests known to God. Phillipians 4:6
I took this photo just a little way from my home. The rain had started to let up to the south, on Lake St. Clair, but clouds still darkened the north. The rainbow appeared suddenly over St. Johns Marsh. When I pulled over, I realized that it perfectly framed the sign.
Sometimes God gives me a gift that I don’t recognize fully when I receive it.
Ever since I was a kid, I have felt that decisions have tremendous consequences and that (inevitably, it seemed) past careless decisions lead inexoribly to current problems. As a result, I tend to procrastinate over choices and second-guess myself afterwards.
Even when I prayed over a decision, I saw it as closing a door on an opportunity – with no going back. What if I was wrong in my choice and didn’t realize it until later on? I especially panicked when circumstances forced a choice. For example, I chose a corporate job over journalism when it became clear I couldn’t support myself on unpaid internships, $-per-inch freelancing, or the low starting salaries of weeklies. I kicked myself for years at the waste of my education, talent, etc.
I’ve never liked that saying “When a door closes, God opens a window opens.” It made God sound cruel. After all, with my luck I’d end up hitting a sidewalk face-first. “When one door closes, another door opens” is a little better – unless you’re trying to get out the closed door and the axe-murdering clown is coming in the other… but I digress.
This photo, which I’ve posted over my desk, reminds me that God is generous. He never gives just one opportunity or one good choice, whether it’s an opportunity to repent or a choice to relocate. I can trust Him to lead me to a good end in everything.
Jean,
My current mantra is, “A set-back, is a set-up, for a come-back!” It has helped keep me in a positive mood about my choices lately. Also, pictures like your rainbow, keep a smile on my face when things are looking a little depressing in my life.
I still love that picture! Every once in a while, you write something that amazes me. Even though we were raised in completely different environments, it still shocks me how alike we are. Your apprehension of making the correct choices is the “twin” to mine.
Jill
Thanks, cuz! I like your mantra!
It’s also kind of strange how choices loop back. Did you know that when I graduated from hs, CMU was offering scholarships in foreign language education? Made me want to kick myself years later, but Mom pointed out that I probably wouldn’t be as independent and self-confident if I had gone straight into education.
I think the same is true for you. Only moreso, because you’ve never been as wishy-washy as I!
BTW I happened to make an extra print of this when was doing photos this last weekend, so I’ll pop it in the mail with your other stuff (from the river cruise).
-Jeannie